The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish pulls it down with her hands. | Proverbs 14:1
Since God instituted the family in the garden of Eden, God placed a greater portion of authority and responsibility on the shoulders of the man as the head of the household. However, if the man is the head of the household, the woman is the heart. She gives life to everyone else in the family, and is often the emotional center of gravity. The wise woman is no mere housekeeper – she is a homebuilder. She earns high praise from God and the people around her, because her task is necessary and worthy of honor.
How does a wise woman build her household? More ways than I can say, but here are a few that come to mind.
A Faithful Woman. A woman builds her house with wisdom when she builds it on the rock of Christ. She knows the Lord, seeks him, serves him, and shines the light of Christ in her home and beyond. It is often she who takes initiative at the earliest ages to teach her children the word of God. She is a disciplemaker in the home and out. She serves her church and builds up her brothers and sisters in Christ. She builds her house by building God’s kingdom. How many believers can see God’s hand in a faithful mother who reads Bible stories and prays before bedtime?
A Virtuous Woman. A woman who builds her house has godly character and wisdom. This is one of the things that attracted me to my wife early on, what set her apart from her peers. She was joyful, but not foolish. Funny, but not silly. Talented, but not proud. Beautiful, but not vain. Self-confident, but not self-involved. She was smart, hard-working, compassionate, trustworthy, and faithful. I could go on, and she is still all those things. She is a good woman, and I knew that this was the woman I wanted to build a house with.
A Helpful Woman. Woman was especially formed by God from the beginning, he designed her and called her a helper to her husband. As husband and wife, a couple walks the path God lays out for them and accomplish more when they work together. A wise woman builds up her husband, and he is the best version of himself because of her. She is his counselor, his prayer partner, his lover, encourager, friend, supporter, and co-laborer. An unhelpful wife is a burden and an embarrassment to a man. But a helpful wife is a crown on his head, his greatest treasure. As Proverbs 31:11 says:
“The heart of her husband trusts her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life.”
A Fruitful Woman. By God’s wisdom and design, a mother quite literally becomes a home, the first home, for her children. We all come into the world after growing and being nurtured in a mother’s womb. What an honorable and glorious gift of God to bring children into the world. A woman builds her home by filling it with her children. Sadly, not all women are able to bear children. This can be a difficult burden. Yet God is gracious and well-pleased as they build their homes and God’s kingdom in myriad other ways.
A Beautiful Woman. A woman brings beauty to her home and invests it with her own unique style. She more often is the one who designs, organizes, arranges, and defines the aesthetic of the home. In doing so, she brings the glory of God and the beauty of creation into her home and family.
A Productive Woman. God has invested her with gifts and interests of her own that she uses to build up her home. She may work outside the home and bring in additional income. She may plant a garden and feed her family from it or sell its produce. She may volunteer in her children’s school, sports team, club, or in her community. She may open a small business to sell what she creates, or teach an exercise or crafting class. In whatever areas she has interest and ability, she is productive in ways that satisfy her spirit and build up her house.
A wise woman builds her house. This is in contrast to the foolish woman.
We are told a foolish woman tears her house down with her own hands. She does this by her own foolishness. She does not value her duties or take them seriously. She counts God’s blessings as burdens. She diverts her attention to other, worthless pursuits instead. By her lack of care, diligence, faithfulness, wisdom, and godly character she destroys her marriage and family.
As I’ve gotten older, I’ve only grown in my appreciation for the impact of a godly woman in building a home. I witness it in my own family and among so many in my church. Sadly, many people devalue marriage and disrespect motherhood. Those who believe and teach these things end up fulfilling the latter half of the proverb. There are plenty of things the world can do without. We cannot do without godly women who also excel as wives and mothers. Christians know this and should lead the way in honoring them.
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