Family Discipleship Habits

Family Discipleship Habits

Christian parenting is discipleship. It is leading our children to faith and fostering the faith they have once they profess it. This certainly means that we bring our children to church and pray with them. But is that the extent of it? Is it a weekend only thing? What does family discipleship look like in the ‘comings and goings’ of everyday life? 

In his book Habits of the Household, Justin Whitmel Earley argues that this is achieved by creating habits woven into everyday living that remind us to live towards God and reinforce belief. 

Habits of the household are not just actions that form our families’ routines, they are liturgies that form our families’ hearts…When it comes to spiritual formation, our households are not simply products of what we teach and say. They are much more products of what we practice and do… We are tasked not only with learning the right thing, which takes concentration and thinking, but also practicing the right things, which takes formation and repetition.” (Habits of the Household, 11) 

Our habits shape us, and our households all have them. Are the habits of your home aiding discipleship to Christ? Here are five practical ways to set faith-forming habits in your household.

1. Family Devotions/Worship

It may seem awkward to sit together as a family and read Scripture, pray or sing a worship song. But why is that? It doesn’t have to be. Maybe you’ve attempted and it was uncomfortable, difficult, or you tried to make it too complicated. I suggest a simple pattern: read, pray, and sing. Read a section, a chapter, a Psalm, a proverb, or a story. After reading, talk about it. Share a main point. Ask a question or two about what they think it means and how we can respond to it, then pray together. After that, sing a song together – something simple and maybe only a verse and chorus. Keep it simple and set your expectations low at first, especially with young kids. Just the act of doing it over time will have an effect, and God will certainly use it to shape your family.

2. Bedtime and Rising

Waking and sleeping are natural rhythms God has put into our world. It resets our day. Consider that your waking and going to sleep routines can point us toward the Lord.

Let your first greeting in the morning be good and gentle. When your children first see you, let it be with a smile on your face. Just as God’s mercies are new everyday for us, let us help our kids start the day with a clean slate. Make it a point to tell your children everyday that you love them. If your kids are going off to school, make it a point to pray with them at the bus stop or in the car.

For your evening routine, give a long off-ramp for wind down. Kids of all ages often struggle to fall asleep because of fears, trouble processing their day, or just racing thoughts. Parents can come alongside their kids to snuggle, pray, read encouraging stories, or talk through issues they are willing to open about in the quiet moments before sleep. Bedtime isn’t just about getting kids to sleep, but helping them to rest in the Lord.

3. Mealtimes

Our meals together are about fellowship with one another. It teaches us to value company and family, and to look forward to fellowship with God his people at his table forever. Don’t miss the power of mealtime. Shoot for one family meal a day and put away interruptions. No phones, toys, or bad attitudes. Three ways that mealtime can be formative for our faith:

  1. It can teach kids service. Ensure your family is involved in the meal prep, table setup, saying grace, or cleanup.
  2. It is occasionally the only time for a family to talk about the day and bring God into the discussion.
  3. It can teach kids hospitality as you invite extended family, friends, and neighbors to the table, just like Jesus does.

4. Conversation

Seek out one-on-one conversation with your kids when you can. When kids are little we often just try to keep them busy. When they get older, they are busy all by themselves and have little time to want to talk. So you’ll have to make time in everyday life. For instance, make the most of the car ride. If  you have to run an errand, invite a kid with you. It’s OK to bribe them with a small treat (or Starbucks). It’s worth the investment. Don’t turn on music all the time, let there be silence that you have to fill by talking. Make no screens in the car a rule. Additionally, you can go for walks or schedule daddy-daughter dates or some mom-son fun. They will appreciate the attention. This habit teaches the value of being present and valuing another’s company. When we spend time with our kids, it communicates that their heavenly Father loves, cherishes, and values them. 

5. Work & Play

Help your family establish a pattern of work and play. Work often feels like something we have to do that keeps us from playing or resting. But God made us to work, and we have important tasks to fulfill. Help your kids learn the value of working for the Lord. Assigning chores around the home is great. Tie allowance to work completed so they learn that work has a reward. Also look for opportunities to bring your kids along with work you are doing, whether in the home, the yard, a service project, a ministry event, or running errands.

Play is part of parenting. It celebrates the joy of family and of God’s good gifts. Make time to do something fun with your kids each day. Try to laugh with them if you can. You don’t have to be the program director of your kids’ play life. Kids play naturally. Sometimes you just need to take interest in what they are playing and enter into it. But focus on games or activities you can all do together. Work is necessary; play is a blessing. God didn’t have to invent recreation, but he gives us this gift so we can experience joy and peace in his goodness. You really can glorify God by playing catch, hide and seek, building a sand castle, or having a tickle war. 

Summer is approaching and school is letting out. With this natural shift in family rhythms, consider how your family habits can change in small but significant ways toward discipleship. 

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