How many times have you heard the word “kind” shrunken down to simply mean “nice”? I confess that I often have used the directive ‘be kind’ to serve that purpose – the word “kind” is easy to understand and (theoretically) easy to apply. But sometimes, we misunderstand what true kindness is. We forget that it goes deeper than the words we say and is meant to be applied to our actions. It takes hard work to be truly kind. Every single fruit of the Spirit must grow to be kind like God is kind to us. And what is God’s kindness to us like?
Or do you despise the riches of his kindness, tolerance, and patience, forgetting that God’s kindness leads you to repentance? | Romans 2:4
Romans 2:4 speaks of God’s kindness as rich. When we understand how very kind he has been to us, we understand that his kindness is a bountiful gift we could never earn. His kindness has worked itself out in being patient with us, and this patience yields another beautiful thing: repentance. A repentance of not just being sorry but turning away from our old life, towards this abundantly kind God.
With perfect hindsight now as a parent, I remember giving my mom a hard time because do you know what she prayed for as my brother and I grew up? She prayed we would get caught when we did something wrong. In a sarcastic, needling way, I probably said something like “Gosh, Mom, you just want us to get in trouble, don’t you?”, but now I get it. (Thanks, Mom.) Sometimes we are rightly rebuked when we are wrong, and on the surface this may not look terribly kind – but as Pastor Matt said in his sermon on Romans 2, sometimes getting caught in sin is the best gift from a gracious and holy God.
Experiencing consequences for our sins will not often feel like God’s tolerance or patience. Sometimes, when we hear God say “no” to our prayers, we do not always see the inherent goodness in his words, his actions, or his rules; but that does not remove God’s kindness in spite of our discomfort or suffering. For a time, his purposes may be veiled from us to open our eyes to the wonderful things in his word (Ps. 119:18).
Ultimately when God is patient and tolerant, giving us chance after chance to repent, that is a kindness our sin doesn’t deserve. When his actions toward us seem harsh, that is also a kindness we don’t deserve. Have we forgotten God does not owe us a single thing except judgment? His kindness is abundantly beautiful precisely because it is lavishly undeserved.
Let a righteous man strike me–it is a kindness; let him rebuke me–it is oil for my head; let my head not refuse it. | Psalm 141:5
Oil on someone’s head would have been a sweet balm for anyone who had just come into a home from a long journey. In Mark 14, we see Jesus’s head anointed with oil as a form of worship, and he declares that it is “a beautiful thing” to prepare his body for burial. So this picture of a righteous person striking another as being “oil for my head” shows a kind rebuke for what it is: a blessing, a fragrance, meant to anoint us and prepare us. When God “strikes” or rebukes us, he is the only righteous One whose rebuke can lead to repentance; when we seek to deal properly with sin through a clear and gentle rebuke, we reflect his character. Christian, may our kindness seek to restore and correct in love. May we go much deeper than surface-level “niceness” and may it prove to be a rebuke coated in love and in truth.
Lest we imagine that God’s rebuke toward us is a sign of impending punishment or displeasure, let’s hold on to these two passages in Psalm 89 and Hebrews 12.
If his children forsake my law and do not walk according to my rules, if they violate my statutes and do not keep my commandments, then I will punish their transgression with the rod and their iniquity with stripes, but I will not remove from him my steadfast love or be false to my faithfulness. I will not violate my covenant or alter the word that went forth from my lips. | Psalm 89:30-34 (emphasis added)
For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it. | Hebrews 12:11
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