“Christian spirituality, without an integration of emotional health, can be deadly – to yourself, your relationship with God, and the people around you.”
This intense statement is the opening line and premise of Peter Scazzero’s book on Emotionally Healthy Spirituality. I have found that most evangelical Christians think first and foremost about spiritual health, and physical and emotional health are disconnected in the back seat. But God has created us as whole people: body and soul, heart and mind. As creatures of weakness, our mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical health are intertwined. Scazzero has written several books and built an entire discipleship ministry on this reality.
The foundation of this perspective is grounded in an essential teaching of Scripture – first laid out in the Old Testament, and then reiterated by Jesus. Remember Jesus’s answer when asked which commandment was the greatest of all?
“Jesus answered, ‘The most important is, ‘Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.’” – Mark 12:29-31
Emotionally healthy spirituality means living out our call to love God, love ourselves, and love others with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength. (Since we are called to love our neighbor as ourselves, we must nourish and cherish ourselves, as we see in Ephesians 5:28-29.) When we don’t pay attention and fail to foster our own emotional health, we cannot be spiritually healthy. We ignore or suppress our emotions and feelings (anger, sadness, fear). We downplay how the sins, hurts, and losses of our past impact us now. We cover our own weaknesses and failures. We compartmentalize our life and separate what we perceive as secular from what we perceive as sacred. We do a lot of work for God, but spend little time with God. We overextend ourselves in the name of good things, while ignoring our natural limits.
If you take time to read and reflect on the concepts in Scazzero’s book, you will be challenged, encouraged, and inspired. (You can read my summary of all 8 chapters here.) The book draws much from the contemplative tradition in Christianity, sometimes called contemplative spirituality. While this tradition may be unfamiliar, or maybe even uncomfortable for many evangelicals, there is much to learn. I learned much about my own need for spiritual and emotional maturity as a man, husband, father, and pastor. For now, consider some of these key characteristics that display Jesus’s call to love God, ourselves, and others.
Upward: Loving God Well
- Surrendered – remembering God’s presence, surrendering to his will, resting in his love.
- Grounded – finding your true identity in God, living life as a journey of Christ-like maturity.
- Connected – communing with God in Scripture, prayer, silence, and solitude.
- Invested – committing to Christian community and loving others out of love for God.
Inward: Loving Yourself Well
- Controlled – naming, recognizing, and managing your feelings of anger, fear, sadness, etc.
- Released – breaking free from your self-destructive patterns.
- Healed – learning how your past sins, hurts, and losses impact your present.
- Integrated – integrating your mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical health.
- Expressive – expressing your thoughts, feelings, needs, and wants clearly.
- Limited – self-assessing and communicating your limits, weaknesses, and boundaries.
Outward: Loving Others Well
- Compassionate – identifying with the feelings of others with grace and sensitivity.
- Relational – fostering close and meaningful friendships and relationships.
- Respectful – loving and honoring others without trying to force change.
- Peacekeeping – resolving conflict humbly, while considering the perspective of others.
“Now may the God of peace himself sanctify you completely, and may your whole spirit and soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.”
1 Thessalonians 5:23
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